JENNIFER and JESSICA stumble on to stage. Both are drunk.
JESSICA Oh my god.
You have an amazing apartment.
JENNIFER I know. I love this place.
JESSICA It’s
like how I imagined living in San Francisco. It’s like out of a movie or TV
show. If you ever move -
JENNIFER I’ll
never move.
JESSICA Let
me know -
JENNIFER I’ll
never move.
JESSICA Because
I’ll take this place -
JENNIFER I’ll
burn this place down before I fucking let some other bitch have it. If I get
married, I’m going to keep it as my own private apartment for when I need to
get away.
JESSICA Oh
God. Me too. If I ever get married I’ll
keep a little place. Who needs to have a
man crowding you, you know? God. They always get in the way.
JENNIFER Sit
down.
JESSICA Ok.
Where? Here?
JENNIFER Sure.
Yeah. That’s fine.
JENNIFER
exits.
JESSICA Ok. Hey. Thanks again. I didn’t mean to stay out so late with you
guys, but thanks for taking me out. I’ve
just been so stressed with my mom and everything. I just needed to shake it up,
you know? I just wish the BART didn’t
stop running. Do all of you live in The
City? I like Walnut Creek. I really do, but it just doesn’t feel the same. It’s not the adventure that you all seem to
have. The city life. I want a different life. Can I have yours?
Let’s just trade. You can have the
house, the mother, all her fucking birds.
“JESSICA!” “JESSICA!” They yell all fucking day! “JESSICA!” “JESSICA!”
God! Morning night and day. “JESSICA!” Years of my mother yelling at me and
giving me orders and demanding. They all
just scream it at me, you know? All in her voice. “JESSICA!” “JESSICA!” “JESSICA!” Christ. I want your life. I want to come home to no one but
myself. Whoever I am.
JENNIFER enters with ropes
and duct tape.
JENNIFER What
the fuck are you yelling about?
JESSICA I
want your life.
JENNIFER Fuck
you.
JESSICA
laughs.
JESSICA Oh
god. We are so drunk.
JENNIFER I
know. I was supposed to pace myself, but
it’s kind of like taking someone home to have sex with them for the first
time. You just don’t know what’s going
to happen and you’re not really sure if you want to be there for it or
not.
JESSICA I’ve
never done that.
JENNIFER I
know.
JESSICA How
do you know?
JENNIFER I
can just tell.
JESSICA How?
JENNIFER Because
you think it’s hard.
JESSICA What’s
hard?
JENNIFER Finding
someone to have sex with.
JESSICA It
is hard.
JENNIFER No. It isn’t.
And that’s what I mean. Now, hold
still.
JESSICA What
are you doing?
JENNIFER Tying
you to the chair.
JESSICA Why?
JENNIFER Because
if I try and gag you first you’ll run away or fight me.
JESSICA Is
this a sex thing?
JENNIFER Do
you want to have sex with me?
JESSICA No.
I mean. I don’t know. I’ve thought about
it.
JENNIFER You’ve
thought about having sex with me?
JESSICA No.
I mean. I don’t know. I mean. Doesn’t everyone think of having sex with someone
they work with?
JENNIFER Try
and move your arms.
JESSICA I
can’t.
JENNIFER Good.
JESSICA Is
this a sex thing?
JENNIFER No.
JESSICA Oh.
End of scene.
